


Severed Heart

by Wandering_Anima



Series: Mended Spines and Colored Pages [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Happy Ending, Heart Break, Infidelity, M/M, Moving On, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:55:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28884231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wandering_Anima/pseuds/Wandering_Anima
Summary: What do you see...You only see him, always. As if your eyes were sculpted and made just for him. Never to look at anyone else again.The silver grey irises which pulls you into an endless storm. So hypnotized you are.From your eyes, do you see him through rose colored glasses now. No longer are you stuck hiding behind those suffocating masks.Do you know what I see...I see you falling in love. You have become the 'fool' you once so detested.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Tom Riddle, Harry Potter/Tom Riddle
Series: Mended Spines and Colored Pages [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2118270
Comments: 10
Kudos: 52





	Severed Heart

_ What do you see… _

Do you see the way the color of his eyes change when they are bathed in the warm light rays of the sun? How those stormy dark grey eyes brighten to the lightest shade of silver. Do you see what is reflected back? How your eyes soften when they meet his, he's got you mesmerized.

Do you notice the slightest touches of his pale slender fingers upon you? Of course you do, I notice how your eyes always follows them. So hypnotized by their movement, that even the smallest twitch does not escape your notice.

I have seen how he is able to bring out many of your locked away emotions, expressions that you have forsaken for so long. That these moments of when you do present your feelings on your face are less often than every blue moon. The surprised look on the faces of your friends, when you have finally shed your mask, to finally be more human. 

You willingly unmasked yourself all for him, so he could see as well. See to it that bolt by bolt, he is tearing down all the walls you have put up. It’s funny how you told me that these walls you have erected were indestructible, that nothing would be able to bring them down. How wrong you had been, how sorely mistaken you were. 

I wonder what your response would have been if I had told you all that would unfold after just meeting one person. Would that have been able to elicit a reaction out of you? Or would you perhaps just think me mad. Even I would have thought they were missing a few screws.

How happy you are when he smiles at you. If you could float, you would be on cloud nine already. What a sight to behold truly. He makes you look as if you're just a mere schoolboy madly in love with their crush, chasing after them like a lovesick puppy.

_ Alive… _

I guess that would be the word to describe you now. Before you were merely just surviving. Having worn mask upon mask, each suited to please and truly hide you away, hidden from the cruel world. You were ambitious to reach beyond the limits that were bestowed upon you by the fates themselves, even before you were born. Yet, you proved all of them wrong, you were able to achieve more than anyone else with what little to nothing you had. 

When you have finally made it to the top, you were still fighting day after day to still stay there. Never once did you take your eyes off your goal, if you couldn’t have anything, ambitiousness was what you had, you would show the whole world that you deserved… No, that you belonged at the top.

Yet, you were like a blind man being able to see for the first time again, when you saw **_him_**. Your eyes, that had always focused on the finish line, finally shifted their focus on him, out of everyone it was **_him_**.

You are finally able to live like a human. You, whose ice couldn’t even be melted by a million blue suns, was like spring in his wake. Full of life, finally able to experience everything that has been withheld. 

I wonder if you yourself have figured it out yet. You are stubborn and very prideful, never backing down from anything, always being the one to have the last say. Would you admit it to yourself that you are…

Even I myself don’t want to admit it, because I had wished it had been me. 

**_Me._ **

Because it was  _ you  _ for me.

_ It was always you. _

**_Always._ **

Do you know how I know… These feelings that you hold for him, are the same as the ones I hold for you. The way I notice all these things about you that others wouldn’t take a second look at.

The way you always have a lock of your perfectly coiffed hair separated from the rest, upon your forehead. Without fail, it is neatly placed in the same spot each day. Many would probably laugh if they had known the actual reasoning behind this. That the great Tom Morvolo Riddle would do this act that has become religious at this point because it is meant as a sign of good luck for him.

Or no matter how professional and mature that you say you are, even to this day, you never touch your green beans. How you always ate slower than the rest so it wouldn’t raise any suspicion when you still had food left over on your plate. God forbid anyone from finding out that Tom Riddle doesn’t eat his greens.

There were also times when all your planning had gone right and it was a success, the hint of excitement that showed when you talked. There is an emphasis made on the Ss, providing the smallest hissing noise to be made when you talked. Of course, I still remember when I had teased you about all your meticulous planning that one would mistake you for a mastermind villain straight out of a comic book. Your response being, “ _ of course I would be a mastermind, it is me we’re talking about, nothing less than expected”.  _ Even with all your haughtiness and ego, I still found it quite endearing. But all I did in return was huff out a small laugh with an eye roll. Maybe it was the shadows that flickered over your face or perhaps just an illusion, but I could have only hoped the little twitch of your lip could have meant something. If only...

I wonder if anyone has noticed that there is more to your riveting dark eyes. Under the amber of the candle light, you could see minuscule specks of scarlet red. Something that stays hidden away even under any other light, it only seems to burn crimson from the fire and nothing else.

Why?

**_Why must it be you?_ **

I want to blame you, I feel so miserable and broken. I  **_hate_ ** him, I hate him so much for having your undivided attention, your affection that you don’t even give on the best of days. I want it all, I want everything that you could give me.  **_Anything._ **

Because you promised that you would be mine.  **_Mine._ ** So I dug my own grave, just to be with you. You gave me your vows, your meaningless lies. I should have known, I really should have but I was so blinded, so in love with you that I saw nothing else, just like you are now.

I hate who I have become, this miserable wallowing in self despair. All this hatred towards him, you, and me. I hate myself more for falling into your Venus trap. This isn’t who I want to be, someone so broken. I am just a shard of who I used to be. What am I supposed to do, I can’t continue being this person. 

I was breaking apart, unraveling bit by bit and you never noticed did you. Of course you wouldn’t. But  **_I_ ** kept clinging because I thought, no I  **_hoped_ ** that your words meant something, hoping those were the echoes of your heart.

You may not see yourself as a guardian angel but I did. You were my savior, you saved me. Me, who was so weak willed, always following orders. Always willing to do anything without a second thought, like a soldier. From the moment I could walk, I was already following the orders of my so-called ‘family’. Then when I finally thought that I could be free, in a school that I could call home, where I could finally have a family, it was not meant to be. Yet again I was but a lamb led around by a shepherd.

You on the other hand was never willing to be led but to lead yourself. Such strong confidence in yourself that you would never rely on others. You helped me to see that I could be more than a dog who obeyed their master. That even I could break out of these cages. These bars that withheld me from the rest of the world, locked away. 

You gave me the keys to those locked doors, to be free, finally free of all these restrictions. To finally fly, the feelings of the air rush through me like a whirlwind. It felt so liberating to be set loose from captivity.

Now here I am.

I couldn’t fathom this to happen, but it did. You set me free, away from that cage. Only for me to fall into one of your webs. I finally understand I was just another one of your preys. A moth who couldn’t stop them self from flying too close to the light, only to get burned by the very thing they seek. 

How long did I stay trapped in your clutches, with the illusion of freedom. With each passing time, the more this grotesque monster grows feeding off my feelings. The more I get dragged into the depths of this abyss. 

Hate. 

Anger.

Jealousy.

Emptiness.

Shame.

Misery.

Fear.

Regret.

I am just so tired of these emotions. It is so draining to have these thoughts all the time. Each day I can see the light dimming from these eyes. These viridian irises, that you said you couldn’t stop looking at, how beautiful they were to you, how intoxicating they were. Perhaps it was the light fading from these eyes that you found beautiful. It was so intoxicating for you because you had the power to break someone. And **_break_** you did.

It is enough isn’t it. Lets draw the line here. I no longer want to dwell on these thoughts. Comparing myself to him, always wondering what I lacked. Blaming myself and those around me for my unhappiness. The person I see in the mirror is so ugly, repulsive, and horrid, that isn’t who I want to be. I no longer want to wither away in this agony, it torments my very being.

If there is anything that I have learned from you, it is not just this anguish. It’s that you can’t depend on someone else forever to come and save you, you have yourself to pull through. When everyone leaves you, you still have yourself. That is why I can not let myself break any further, I refuse to, I cannot afford to be that person any longer.

So I will be my own person, a person worthy enough for the future. For the ones who will be there in my life, I want to be strong enough to be their person. I have to be because there is no more backing down, no going back, only forward.

I did regret having met you but as I look back on it, I don’t. There are things that I have gained from you that I don’t regret or ever will. It’s all a part of me now, all these experiences will make me stronger, they  **_have_ ** made me stronger. I guess it's all a part of growing up, the price of living.

I have severed the string to my heart from your clutch. I cannot promise that I will just be able to forget and move on because this is as much my story as it is yours. I am me and you are you, and this is where our stories diverge. Where our roads will no longer be converged. 

I don’t know what the future holds or if our roads will ever meet again. But as of present, I wish to close this book and start a new book with a new chapter. So this will be my goodbye.

My goodbye to this book that I have finished, that now lays upon the shelves. Not burned or thrown away. One that will always be remembered and unforgotten. 

**_Farewell..._ **

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> wrote this while vibing to past lives by sapientdream. Sort of sad with a dash of angst and moving on. This is from Harry’s POV. Until next time (´▽｀)ノ


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